last goodbye.

ashley.... i love you and i'm super proud of you. i could never ask for a better friend and neither could thomas....
i may not take change as well as normal people do, but then again, What is normal?? eveyone has a way to themselves stand out. When someone thinks of emo they think:
Skinny jeans, Straightened hair, Studded belts, band t-shirts. but i think that thomas is right. they dont dress a certain way because they feel like it, it's because they want to make a point. my friend kayla and i were talking last week about her studded belt that she just got and i was thinking.. just because you own a studded belt doesn't mean that your emo. its not a sign. its a statement.

HE TALKED TO ME TODAY, Ashweeeeee !

me. (4:47:21 PM): hi.

thomas. (4:48:35 PM): hi

i can barely remember the last time he talked to me. but i got him to say one whole word. ohh yess. now i remember the last time....on March 7th, 2008. R.I.P. i wish i could forget that day. and that night....but then the memories that make me real today would all be lost..

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

[CHORUS:]
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again


scream.to.be.heard.
welcome.to.my.life.

ricolynn

2 months later...

I'm back. It took me 2 months...but im back. I've been thinking...about everything, thats been happening.. in my life, and in his.. and while i was thinking.. i realized, i can't stop whats happening, i can't stop him from changing.. there is absolutely nothing i can do. i have to accept him for who he is now. You know.. he actually made a pretty good point to me a few days ago. He said.. "i dont dress the way i do, because i like it, i dress this way to make a point. My point is that, someone can dress completely different than they did before.. but still be the same person inside" That is very very true. You see emos with their skinny jeans, and studded belts & band t-shirts... but, just because they wear those things, doesn't mean they have to change their personality to fit their label as emo. Thomas however.. did change his personality, he says its just because the "old him" tried to hard to "fit in" but, i dont believe that's true. He wasn't concerned at all about how he looked, or if what he liked was "popular" he was himself... thomas. But, like i said before.. i can't do anything about that.. things change, people change. Its like a roller coaster. No matter how scary it is, or how much you hurt from bumps and sharp turns, you just have to close your eyes, hold on tight, and finish the ride in one peice.

Peace, love and eyeliner.
♥ Ashley ♥