The End...

Theres nothing more to do then watch my whole life fall apart before my eyes... tonight thomas and i were talking, and it was really about nothing until he brought in the drugs and the drinking.. he talked about how i could save him from drinking tonight by making out with him.. and i would do anything to save him, so of course i offered, well, noticing that it was 10:30 at night.. i couldn't really accomplish that.. so thomas said he would go drink at 11:00. i had a half hour to try to convince him that the past was so amazing and that i wanted the old him back.. but all it did was crush me and make my heart fall to pieces. he told me i was "effing annoying" and that i should just let go of the past cuz he doesn't care about it anymore.. i guess thats it... i said i was done trying before.. and it worked for like 3 weeks.. but now.. its going to have to work for a lot longer.. because he obviously doesn't want someone so annoying in his life.. im done guys. im sorry.. but i guess this is my last entry.

peace...

ashley

Never Too Late

This is rico's "emo song". It is called Never Too Late by Three Days Grace. It reminds us of Thomas a lot also.

This world will never be
what i expected
and if i dont belong
who would've guessed it
i will not leave alone
everything that i own
to make you feel like its not too late
its never too late


Even if i say
it'll be alright
still i hear you say
you want to end your life
now and again we try
to just stay alive
maybe we'll turn it all around
'cause its not too late
its never too late

No one will ever see
this side reflected
and if there's something wrong
who would've guessed it
and i have left alone
everything that i own
to make you feel like
its not too late
its never too late

Even if i say
it'll be alright
still i hear you say
you want to end your life
now and again we try
to just stay alive
maybe we'll turn it all around
'cause its not too late
its never too late

The world we knew
won't come back
the time we've lost
can't get back
the life we had
won't be ours again

The world will never be
what i expected
and if i dont belong

Even if i say
it'll be alright
still i hear you say
you want to end your life
now and again we try
to just stay alive
maybe we'll turn it all around
'cause its not too late
its never too late
maybe we'll turn it all around
'cause its not too late
its never too late (its never too late)
its never too late
its never too late

I like it alot. I hope you guys do also.

PEACE LOVE AND EYELINER,
Ash ♥

♥ Your Guardian Angel♥

(rico:)
this is a song that ash and i fell in love wih the moment we heard the first note. This song reminds us of Thomas and how we would do anything in the world for him.

When i see your smile,
tears run down my face.
i can't replace.
and now that i'm stronger, i have figured out,
how this world turns cold and i breaks through my soul.
and i know i'll find deep inside me,
i can be the one.
I will never let you fall.
i'll stand up with you forever.
i'll be there for you through it all.
even i saving you sends me to heaven.
Seasons are changing,
and waves are crashing,
and stars are falling over us.
days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
i can show you i'll be the one
I will never let you fall
i'll stand up with you forever.
i'll be there for you through it all.
even if saving you sends me to heaven
'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y
my true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
'cause i'm here....for you!
Please don't throw that away and, please tell me you'll stay........here
Use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and i know i'll be okay,
though my skies are turning gray......
I will never let you fall.
i'll stand up with you forever.
i'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven.



♥ ♥ ♥ this is the song is the story of my life♥ ♥ ♥


♥ rico

The note

Today i was going through some of my old stuff, and i came across this note that thomas gave me when i was dating this guy named ben. heres what it said:

Dear Ashley,
For a long time now i have liked you so much, and i dont know how to tell you so i'm writing this. you mean the world to me, without you i'm nothing. if someone told me to stop cutting i wouldnt unless it was you. if there was a word to describe how i feel towards you i would tell you but there isn't. i like you way too much. i'll wait forever and a day just to be with you. so please one day think about giving me a chance. if you ever do we could always be friends in the end. i'll always love you no matter what happens your the love of my life and you always have been and always will be. if i got to pick my first kiss, it would be you. i understand you have ben so i'll back of cause watching you be happy means more then anything. i love you ashley.

I love you,
Thomas

That note meant more to me than anything in the world. I wish he felt that way still, but he doesn't care about me anymore.. and i miss him a lot..

My sexy studded belt

Yesterday i went shopping at hot topic :] and i got this really really hott studded belt. it is white and i love it so much. i kept telling Thomas that it is sexier than his but he seems to disagree. Anways...i'll let you know when i get more emo clothing haha. dont worry, i'm not emo, and dont plan on it, but i am trying to be a little different then everyone else.

PEACE LOVE AND EYELINER,
ashley ♥

How cute he was :]

--> this was thomas on the first day of 4th grade :] he is the one in the blue shirt with the funny spiked hair :p

i dont have a recent picture of what he looks like now. He doesn't really like to get his picture taken. But when i do get a picture i will be sure to put it up :]